January 2023
My Eve: First Love Story with a Woman

Dear Journal,

I’ve met someone special!! And I’m so excited to tell you about her! I’ll share intimate details about some of our firsts and a tearful conversation before our goodbyes.

This is actually my first significant connection with a woman, and I couldn’t be more excited to share it with you. For those who saw me on Single Life – 90 Day Fiance, you know I was questioning my sexuality, wondering if I was just sexually attracted to women or openly attracted to them in every way. My sexual attraction to women has never been a secret.  I’ll go into more detail about my journey with my sexuality in another blog post, but for now, let’s talk about my date!

This Kiss

A fan spotted me and asked for a picture, so I stepped away to take a quick selfie. When I returned, I apologized for not having mentioned I’m a TV personality. Funny enough, she already knew but didn’t want to say anything because she didn’t want me to think that was why she was interested in me. We kept talking, but eventually, I had to go celebrate with my friends. She walked me to the bar entrance, and we had our first kiss! And guess what? Another fan popped up right in our faces! It was our first kiss—me, Eve, and a fan! HAHA.

Now Eve doesn’t want to be in the public eye, so I’ve decided to nickname her  “Eve” as a playful reference to the Bible. Yes, technically Lilith was first. So, even though she wasn’t the first woman I had a crush on (cue the failed Aruba crush), she is the first woman I truly feel connected with.

A Blossoming Connection

After our successful first date, we planned to meet the following weekend. She lives in Massachusetts, was in school full-time and worked full-time, so I suggested a chill movie night at her place. We didn’t even watch a movie; we just talked a lot, and I ended up spending the night at her apartment. Stop your dirty thoughts – we didn’t hook up haha.

Okaaaay.. So I think she’s kinda liking me y’all! But now errands are coming to an end and we’re driving back to her house. And my mind starts running. “What do I do? Do I say thanks and leave? Do I ask to stay over again?” When we pulled up to her house, she immediately asked if I wanted to spend the night again, and of course, I stayed another night.

Living in the Moment

Things were going really well, but I had this trip to Colombia coming up. I had just entered the dating pool intentionally and was actually ready this time, but I still wanted to take things slow. I have a habit of meeting someone I click with, then focusing solely on them, ignoring red flags, and it doesn’t work out in the end. So, I was very upfront about wanting to take things slow and casually date to see who I’m a good fit with. But we really liked spending time together, and she knew I was leaving the country for a couple of months. After spending the second weekend with her, I asked if she was down to act like we were “married” until I left. I use “married” lightly—I just meant spending the next few weekends together until I left for Colombia, understanding that this time didn’t mean we were in a relationship, and that when I went to Colombia, I’d still be open to opportunities and dates.

She was actually really supportive of this. She understood that I wanted to explore and not rush into anything (she didn’t want to rush either), and she had a good feeling that whatever was starting between us could be good. She wanted me to go to Colombia and enjoy the experience so I wouldn’t have any regrets. I really appreciated her openness and understanding—it made me feel good in my body, supportive, and loving. So, we were in agreement, and it became routine to spend Thursday through Sunday together. I would drive up every Thursday and come back down on Sundays to take Tobias to swim lessons.

Holiday Magic

Holidays were approaching, and we wondered how to spend them. Is it too soon to buy gifts? We decided to spend Thanksgiving with our respective families, but I drove to her place Thursday night and stayed over. On Friday, we spent time with her parents, who are fans of mine! Eve joked that I had an upper hand because her mom already liked me.

For Christmas, we planned no gifts but made lots of cute plans. We visited Roger Williams Zoo for the winter village, and Gillette Stadium with her parents, attended a Christmas party at my friend Alex’s… it was all so cute and exciting!

The weekend, we took her nieces to Roger Williams Zoo, was too cute! The Christmas lights were magical, and the girls loved the s’mores and hot chocolate area. They also enjoyed the fake ice rink at Jordan’s Furniture. Watching them skate and enjoy the activities was so much fun. It affirmed my desire to be a mother someday.

Navigating Love and Boundaries

The next day, one week before leaving for Colombia, Eve opened up about her feelings. She found it hard to imagine me dating others while in Colombia. It was a heartfelt conversation where we both cried. I just was not in a place to commit yet. When I told myself I was ready to start intentionally dating, she was the first person I went on a date with. I didn’t think I should just commit to the very first person I connected with, and she said she understood. I wanted to set boundaries about what going to Colombia meant, but every time I brought it up, the conversation just never happened. I regret not having that conversation.

We should have discussed and set boundaries about what my time in Colombia would look like. We were both single and open to date – Should we tell each other when we match with someone online? When we go on a date? When we kiss someone else? I regret not having this conversation. 

If you’ve casually dated and set boundaries, what did those conversations look like? What’s your advice for someone considering casually dating? Tell me in the comments below!